If it weren't for Amanda, I don't know where I'd be right now. I really, really don't. I don't know if I'd have met Matthew. I don't know if I would hav gotten back together with Ian. I don't know how things would have worked out for me. I don't know if I would have moved down south at all if she hadn't left. If she hadn't gone away.

Las friday was three years. I remembered. No one else did. She was the most amazing, honest, nicest genuine person I ever met and no one remembers her.

I'm at Matthew's right now. I've been here for days. I got a job and it's the most boring thing ever. I still don't have the internet at the house. We'll see where that leaves me.

Life is, over all, pretty darned good. I suppose I should count my blessings for being able to have a life and for all of the good things that are in it.

And I do. I am very lucky.

I wonder why she wasn't.

* now * then * who i am * where i am * what they've said *
* host *
what i've already said
funeral dress - 2007-03-22
packing - 2007-02-04
hello, my name is M - 2007-02-02